Sharon Watts Writes

when pictures fail me…

Zen I Can (an hour at a time)

Here is the dilemma:

Born in the mid-20th century, I am a bona fide baby boomer, but what I am feeling is not unique to that generation. Any woman who approaches “a certain age” will probably experience what I am going through. Which is: bouncing enthusiasm with new energy and ideas, feeling positive about this wondrous stage of my life, only to be blindsided by scattered focus, fuzzy memory, lethargy, and at times, downright depression.

We compare notes with our friends, are given wide berth by our families, and are diagnosed by our doctors. We go on anti-depressants, up our Valium and/or vitamins, do more yoga, seize the day, peruse the self-help section in book stores and blogs, and try to balance on the teeter-totter of our lives. We are the human equivalent of pinball machines.

What if…just what if I need to simply accept this fact? That my focus is a pinball? Not just accept, but embrace it, because this is the “now” of my life.

 

This is where I write about the dilemma. And my attempts to be mindful. And productive. It’s an experiment in lassoing my ever-wandering focus, that I figured, once aired in public, would put the pressure on. Unexpected and rewarding results include feedback that reminds me: to be in the moment is more important than trying to last an hour.

I’m trying.

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